moving on

I wish that I had a picture of this house to show you. I don’t know where the pictures are. I tried uploading a couple of pictures on my blog, yesterday and couldn’t even find the links to upload an image. So, This blog, for now, Is void of all photographs. “text only,” really describes This blog. (smile)
the Pesamist and I are talking about moving Well, we talk about it when 1. we see our landlord and 2. when it has been a hard day at work. We will see our landlord to sign an 18month lease this Saturday. After reading my friend’s blog at:
I thought to put my own thoughts about the subject on paper. sometimes, it is strange that two blogs will be talking about the same thing at the same time. But, We, truly have been talking about this very thing because, like I said, we are signing our 18month lease for this house. My DH’s name will be on the lease, now. And, frankly, I don’t want to move. We just got into this house in March — him September. (He has only been here three months and he is already wanting to move?????) For this post, readers should notice that he is not affectionately referred to as “the optimist.” Now, the landlord does not know that we are talking about it. And, honestly, it won’t happen for a while. But, on a bad long day, he mentions it.
“it would be so much easier if we moved closer to where I work.” I feel his pain.
But: we don’t even have everything unpacked here. and, we just moved. and, although he does not realize it, we have a good deal on this place. Yes, it is renting, but we still have a good deal. We only pay electric and not gas. the neighborhood is nice. the landlord is ok (at least, for now). You see, I moved here first and now that Imran is here, I am analyzing their (they are a husband and wife team) behavior in the hopes that nothing has changed. In any case, I don’t want to move… … at least, not yet. I also know that I would be doing most, if not all of the packing and unpacking. sure, he would try to get some friends to help. You notice that he is not inclined to take on that massive task himself! (smile) If I let DH do it, he would abandon his sense of organization and just throw things in boxes without labeling, etc. After all, I would be the one doing the unpacking, anyway. Why is it that traits such as organization and optimism don’t transfer over into other areas????
anyway, Now, I say: “We will move, when we can afford a house.” this is also problematic because I know that Imran won’t buy a house until he can pay for it in full or some other way that does not mean that he/WE will be paying “interest” on a loan. That is good. But, he laments because it probably means that we will be here for quite a while until we save up the right amount of money. so, he tries to convince me to modify my stance. and, he asks innocently: “what is wrong with an apartment?” I say (wanting to shout) “Are you serious?” Is this an AGE thing? Maybe, but maybe not. I know older people who opt for apartments now that they are single and don’t want to take care of a house. I don’t want to go back to the apartment phase. a house is more stable for me. there is 1500 square feet and YES, despite what you think, we definitely use that furnished unmoist wonderful basement. We have a large kitchen table with four chairs, food storage, a bed, a couch that pulls out into a full bed (which can also fit in the basement without moving anything around), washer and dryer, laundry table, book shelves, at least 50 boxes that we have not unpacked yet, Fallbrook’s food area, a deep freezer, a rocking chair, a college refrigerator, a dresser, two television sets, a couple of small tables, a toy box (for guest children, of course), a dehumidifier (it came with the house to regulate basement moisture) all down in the basement with some room to spare. Actually, the house is 750sqft and the basement is 750sqft. the Landlord is on time to change the furnace filters, clean the gutters and even do the weeding. If we call her/him, they are out almost immediately. We know because once we were both locked out of the house and another time, we had problems with our smoke detectors. the smoke alarms and water heater (although a bit small) are checked twice a year. the landlord did put in an extra cabinet and hand rail on the steps before I moved in. I don’t know what they did, maybe it is the blue slate roof, maybe it is something else; but this house is the most energy efficient that I have ever known. We also have central air in the summer. Our electric bill is about $40 lower than most houses of this size. and, we don’t have gas… … remember? OK, we don’t have a dish washer either and it would not be so bad if we had two sinks. but, we only have one sink to wash dishes in. there is not a lot of cabinet space, so putting one in, might be problematic. And, if we want to point out the flaws in this house, the steps from the front door down to the street are spaced out strangely and uneven in depth and one of the concrete steps is chipped and a bit broken … … and he is afraid that one of us will slip and fall. Also, while we are close to a busline, it is not easy to get to. If my loving stubborn DH thinks that this wood structure seems flimsy, he should check out the thin drywall structures of apartments. this house is much more sturdy and much more durable than apartments. and, I have lived in my share of them, as well as townhouses (when I was younger). We do have a small yard. and, we have a shed. In order for us to get the same amount of room with the same amenities, we would have to have a house. Well, nothing will be decided before May/June of 2012. You see, unlike my friend, I am not and will not resign to the fact that we must move two/three/four more times before we are settled. I want to find a good place and “stay.” and, since none of us are too hot about nursing homes, we will make sure that someone will take care of us in our old age — Some ONE, not Some AGENCY. (smile) Yes, I want to travel. Yes, I want to spend time in other places, doing other things, enjoying family and friends. But, I want to be rooted in a home of our own! I am not a nomad! I feel less like a pretty flower and more like a red oak. Plant me in one place and I will stay. I might branch out to touch and enjoy other places, but my roots stay firm and strong!


20 Responses to “moving on”

  1. Jubeee Says:

    Should I get all political? I know in some parts of the country it is possible to buy a house cash but here is not feasible, unless you are a millionaire. I think my A understands this and has come to terms with the fact that he will need a mortgage one day, we are in the US after all and this is how our economy works. The irony is that in Pakistan they charge very high interest rates to Christians and other non-Muslims.

    • jamily5 Says:

      Hi Jubee, Your message made me chuckle. Muslims are not suppose to take interest either, so that would still be blastphemy. but, I am sure that you know this, already. (smile)

      Yeah, that is what I figured, about the house buying. Hmmm, I wonder if the “rent to own,” or “leasing,” options would charge interest. I don’t know all of our options. I just know that Imran does not want to pay interest. and, economically, I don’t either. I wonder if we have a large down payment, if we can just pay the rest in monthly installments and not pay interest. What if you have a house built? But, maybe I am just wishing. Afterall, I have not tried to buy a house before. Honestly, I would be ok with just renting the whole time. I can’t fix things and it is expensive to do the upkeep and pay the property tax of a house. But, Imran is set to buy! so, I will yield on that point. But, not on the moving fifty million times! If you want to “buy a house,” GREAT! But, let’s move when we want to buy and not to another rental property. that is my stance .

      • Jubeee Says:

        It really depends on where you live, there are parts of Ohio where you can buy a house for $30,000. Where I live, you can also buy one is the absolute worst neighborhood of the inner-city for that kind of money. For decent starter home you need at least $150k in the city and $250k in the suburbs. I can’t see saving that kind of money.

      • jamily5 Says:

        OK, Let’s figure, Jubee, If you need $150k in the city; is there an option where you can pay half: $75k or 1/3, $50k and then paying the rest over a 5year or 10year — instead of a 30year contract. I know “that sounds like a mortgage,” but I thought that maybe if we paid half, it wouldn’t really be like a mortgage, more like a …. Well, I don’t know.

        We really wouldn’t go to a 30k either because it would probably need lots of fixing — things that neither of us are good at. (smile) We’d have to stay within the city for maximum transportation opportunities.

        I say; let’s just rent and forget the buying. We would have too much house responsibility anyway and I don’t want it. But, I might change my mind, if the price and benefits are right.

      • Sara Says:

        Paying interest is better than throwing away money on rent, with nothing to show for it at the end (Awesomeness double-majored in business for his undergrad, so my understanding of financial matters has grown exponentially in the last three years).
        When you buy a house, you get a loan from the bank. The bank pays the full amount to the seller, and technically owns the house until it is paid in full. The bank charges interest because, if it didn’t give the money to you, it could have done other things with the money that may have been profitable, like investing in business. You are paying them for the privilege of using their money.
        Rent-to-own places may or may not charge “interest,” but they do inflate the cost of the items to account for the fact that you have the privilege of having the item while they wait for full payment (again, they could be doing better things with the money they are entitled to).
        Awesomeness is strongly against loan sharking or unfairly high interest, but he sees interest as a fair payment for the business transaction. I agree that buying a home outright is very difficult, and requires throwing away money on rent when you could be spending it on a mortgage, with home equity to show for it. Perhaps Awesomeness and Pessimist/Optimist could discuss it at our next outing! Awesomeness is a bit curious about the purpose of not accepting/paying ANY interest — but we should probably stay in the conversation, because Awesomeness sometimes has difficulty understanding purely religious motivations (boy loves his science and reason), and I may have to run interference to keep a conversation like that productive.

      • jamily5 Says:

        Ok, Sara, I understand the mortgage process. but: Well, first “interest” is purely for religious reasons. He doesn’t take it on his accounts either. Or, if they give it to him, he gives it to charity or a mosque or something because he feels that it is money unearned. and, as much as he (optimist or otherwise) likes to save money, this is saying much about his commitment.

        I do understand the fact that renting is throwing away money because you don’t own the house that you are living in. but, I have seen too many times when people do own the house and so many things go wrong in the house, the property value goes down, etc and they have nothing to show for it. I am not good at painting, fixing, weeding, … general upkeep. DH is not either. that means that we will have to hire people: “ching ching.” DH really wants to buy. I have seen the hastles. My mother bought two houses and two mobile homes and she is tripple mortgaged out. Really, she paid, but I know in the end, it is the bank’s house and her ownership is just an illusion. she gets the privilege of fixing the houses up to be lived in, paying property tax, doing all of the 6month routine things, etc. but, like I said, I’ll yield and buy. But, then again, I do want to get a good buy for my buck and like I said before: only move once more! We have not looked into the foreclosure option. Honestly, let’s get stable first!

      • jamily5 Says:

        hahaha, you may be right, but DH is not phenatical about it. Just quietly believes, so you wont have to run too much interferance. Yet, the conversation would be interesting, though.

      • Sara Says:

        Hmm, I hadn’t thought about the upkeep. A condo could be a good solution, because most of the maintenance is covered in fees; but you seem tied to the stand-alone house.

        I think “unearned” depends on your view. For a small, short-term loan to a relative, it does seem unethical to charge interest, especially if you don’t miss the money. Payday loan places and jacked-up credit cards are downright criminal in my book. When Awesomeness explains business-related interest as paying for the use of the money, since the other person could have done other, profitable things with that money, it makes sense to me. I think that’s why we’d be curious to hear the counter to that.

        Renting is also less risky, that’s true. I think you can minimize risk with things like doing research on neighborhoods (I have no idea what that entails, but A seems to), buying homeowners insurance, doing maintenance as it comes, and buying within your means to pay off and maintain. It’s also easiest to adjust based on need (like you have more children, or boomerang children, or relatives come to live with you) if you rent and just have to wait out (or buy out of) your lease. There are definite advantages to both ways.

      • Jubeee Says:

        I think the point is that the charging on interest is illegal according to Islamic law and teaching. My A argues this is why the Islamic world will never be able to fully develop, they cannot borrow money. I think Muslims in America need to be pragmatic about the applications of their religion. It is unrealistic to live in America without interest at some point.

      • jamily5 Says:

        Wait, Jubee, Here is a question: In some states or places, aren’t there Islamic (or Muslim banks)? I had heard that there were, but have never actually known of any in my area. that is just something to think about.

      • Sara Says:

        BTW, I was telling A about the convo, and he started to go “But what does he do when he wants to buy a car?” (which, car buying was my first experience with how the whole bank-loan-repayment process works — I had never really thought about the fact that you don’t pay the actual seller monthly — my parents never had enough money to buy a house and rarely enough for better than beater cars), and then stopped midway through and was like “Oh, I guess that’s not really an issue.” (smile)

      • jamily5 Says:

        (smile) But, we sometimes wish that we could buy a car and just have drivers. We think that it would be cheaper than paratransit $3.50 every time we ride. there aer blind people who do this. I think that their insurance is a bit higher because they are not a licensed driver, but they can. Yeah, my mother did not start owning anything until I was out on my own. We always rented and never were able to actually “buy” a car. We always got someone’s clunker. I always felt foreign when a high school senior announced: “for graduation, my dad is buying me a car!” 1. I can’t drive but 2. just buying you a car right out; as if it is a new dress. (wow)

        Maybe we will have to break down and do the interest thing. But, if we do, we want to make sure that we get the best for our money. and, I will support any and all of his attempts to get the best bargain. (smile) [You may have to remind me of my words on this one].

      • Jubeee Says:

        RE: Car, my A has very good credit (unlike me) he has a number of high limit credit cards that he uses and pays off before he is charged interest. He is able to get a 0% loan on cars they often offer, her was very close to buying a Prius last spring on the offer but back away at the news of all the various new, high effeciency cars arriving on the market soon.

      • jamily5 Says:

        Hmmm, I did not think about getting credit cards so that later you might secure a 0% loan. Interesting thought!

  2. Sara Says:

    Hey, I’m not a big fan of moving — it’s just part and parcel to the grad-school/young professional in academia life, where we expect to be in different states for a year and where Awesomeness will have to relocate for each new job (he knows he has to try only one or two before committing to a place for the long haul, as I have to re-license in each state).
    Is he wanting a smaller place to save money faster for the house? We’re just trying to get by in grad school life, but our plan is to stick with a tiny apartment for as long as possible once we start real jobs so we can save up a good down payment.
    And devil’s advocate: Once you’re truly settled, it will be even harder to move!

    • jamily5 Says:

      Just the thought of intrastate moving makesme cringe. You seem to handle it better than I. If he continues to make good arguments for moving, I might just need some of that flexibility. (smile)

      • Sara Says:

        I moved pretty frequently as a child, and my moves here in grad school were to move out of an uncomfortable roommate relationship and then to move in with A. I’m actually the one who keeps saying, no, we’re already settled here and we like the landlord, so what if it’s a little cramped.

      • jamily5 Says:

        I moved a few times as a child, as well. my mother and father were divorced, so I was always at a different house. and, they moved at different times for different reasons. then, between the years of 1988 and 1993, I moved thirteen times. Some of my stuff got lost and damaged in the moves and many other horrible things happened. so, I am so so over the moving thing. …. even if it has been quite some time ago. But, I guess I can be a bit curmudgeon about the whole thing.

      • Sara Says:

        Well, and I think it’s also something you get “out of practice” at. I’m sure that, once I’ve lived somewhere for a decade or so, I’ll be pretty hesitant to jump back into the moving game.

      • jamily5 Says:

        You know, We were talking about it (Hmm, is talking the correct description or would Arguing be a better portrayal of such a discussion) and… …. I also think that there are two reasons for his desire to quickly move: (so our landlords’ worry about that is a bit founded). 1. I found the house before he came. My family helped me furnish it. They helped me move. I think that he does not feel a part of it and thus, wants some place that we both share in the “getting,” and furnishing. Maybe (just to help him feel a part of things) I’ll *let him purchase us a new bedroom suit and that dishwasher that he’s been talking about.(smile) 2. He is in that “We can survive,” mode. I don’t want to “survive.” I want to have a home.

        And, honestly, most of the responsibility of making it a “home,” will fall to me because, my expectations for being “home like,” are higher than his. He got use to living out of boxes and just eat and run, etc. Maybe this is a lifestage thing. He is just starting and I am ready to plant roots. We will find some kind of compromise. We will probably move; after the lease, but I need to put some conditions on it. I don’t want to move “backwards,” just because he hasn’t had some experiences that I have. Yet, I have to recognize his need to at least “move.”

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