Posts Tagged ‘packing’

The air and the vent (and I’m not talking about the heating/cooling system)!!!

June 13, 2012

… …. just being honest and not objective at all!
When I moved in 2010, things were alot different. Here are some of the diffeences which are causing me a bit of anxiety (notice I am not using the word stress):
1. when I moved in 2010, I had a full ten weeks to pack. I packed slowly and methodically. I had decided to pack at least three boxes a day and I could quit when I got tired. I began packing December 1st of 2009 and finally moved February 27, 2010. I brailled each box with the contents and the date. (Ok, who really needs the date???? But, this is remnants of my navy influenced father). I wrapped each dish and secured each cord. My only helper was my then 14yo niece who (although she can be a bit lazy, was great at taking instructions and usually she respects and obeys me quite well). [Although she doesn’t read this blog, Cudos goes out to Darian]!!! She helped over the New Year’s. This time, my daughter “helped” — and by that I mean, she did most of the packing. Many times, when sighted people help blind people (and, I am almost certain that this applies to helpers across the board, but moreso when disabled people need help), they take over the process. Rarely to they ask: “What do you want me to do?” or “How do you want me to do it?” I admit that I could have done it all myself, but one of the reasons that I did not want to move is that I did not want the hastle of packing and unpacking. So, Dominika offered and I accepted her assistance. But, she is so busy and forgets to respect the person that she is helping. sometimes my daughter is great about understanding how to help constructively and how to respect the way a person wants things done: “now” is not one of those times. She packs quickly and there is braille on only half of the boxes. I can never find the tape, scissors and/or empty boxes so I can’t do any packing while she is gone. (No, she never remembers where she puts them). She throws away some things that I want to keep. Someone even threw away our taxi vouchers [Either dominika or my sister] because they thought that it was just “junk mail” and never bothered to ask. that is $60($6 per voucher) down the drain. and, now we have to pay full price for our taxi rides.. While it costs DH two vouchers (twelve dollars) to get to work, it will now cost him forty-five dollars, at the least. So, it will now cost him at least $57 just to get to work. They ar gone, we need to move on — so to speak. Yet, it won’t be forgotten.
I find some of these thrown out things in the trash( a twinsize reversable blanket, books and dishes) [Where is that beeping frisbie and the basketball with bells in it????] , but I know that I will feel the full extent when I can’t find something that I am looking for). She keeps changing the packing schedule which makes me nervous. She has to work, so the packing continues to be put off until the very last minute. She says “quit freaking out,” and tries to act like nothing is a big deal. But, I know how people act when they are rushed and it is a big deal for me. That kind of logic: “quit flipping out, it is not a big deal,” reminds me of when she was a teenager. (ugg). I think that when she gets in a hurry, she is either “trash happy” or “not careful about what is in each box.” As I was looking for cold medicine the other day, I found my writing utensils and “Free matter for the blind” stamp in the medicine box. I am not trying for perfection, so after telling my daughter how I felt, I had to let it go. I don’t want her feeling “guilty,” as if I am trying to manipulate her. I want her understanding and changing. But, maybe that will come with age…. … maybe.
2. I have a baby. this consumes most of my time and I am just too tired to pack. and, I have more to pack because I have to pack baby items.
3. Although DH will label boxes, he won’t pack them.Actually, when my daughter and sister came to help, he did more work than I thought he would do. He labeled and packed a couple of office boxes … … but more importantly, he did not get on his computer or IPhone while we were doing all of the work. But, he is not about to do anything on his own or because I ask. He use to say: “Don’t worry about the packing, it won’t be that bad. I’ll get plenty of Muslims to help.” It is kind of the philosophy he used when I was pregnant. He felt bad because I had to do housework and cooking on top of my regular job. But, not bad enough to “do it himself.” …… just bad enough to try to find someone else to do it for the both of us…. “Why doesn’t your daughter come over and help more? Why don’t you just relax and you can do the dishes tomorrow?” [I hated this because My daughter did “help” but not enough for his likeing and he, the husband and father did not want to even make dinner. … and, I couldn’t relax knowing that I would eventually have to tackle that mountain of dishes. So, he wanted me to have an easier time; he just didn’t want to put forth any effort of his own to make that happen. Selfish??? Yes. But, things are what they are! and…. … he is slowly changing a bit]. when thinking about friendly mosque attendees, … … A. they don’t even help when you need to get to the mosque; B. they aren’t even “friends” in the loosest sense[only one guy came over to congratulate us on our baby but he has two jobs and his wife is too busy]; and C. if someone is going to be touching my things, I’ll pay them so they can do it exactly how I want.
4. DH is quite particular about some of his things. don’t touch his documents or his electronics. But, he won’t pack them until the last minute.
5. His sister has decided to come down the exact day of our move. Honestly, she wanted to come down the week before, but I persuaded DH (At least I think that is how it went) to have her put it off because — well…. … we were packing. It will be her and her newborn baby and I just can’t play hostess and move; especially when she will need some help with the baby and orienting to new surroundings. Her baby was born April 29th and she only has so much time off from work. she could not have come before now because baby was a preemie and in the hospital. DH went down after the baby was born for a few days, but she wants to come here and take pics of the two babies together and see her brother, again. She has to go back to work on the 20th, and she wanted to visit before going back to work. We were suppose to get the UHaul on Thursday and she would arrive on Friday. That was going to be difficult, but not impossible. But, now, my daughter does not have thursday off, so we all have to do it on Friday. I can’t reschedule her trip again. She is already bummed that she only has until the 19th because she has to be at work on the 20th. My only saving grace is that I called a friend, J. who said that she would love to watch my baby and host his sister and her newborn for the day while we move. This gives my sil a place to go and lay down her baby and pump and she gets lots of attention in the process. And, it allows us to move without feeling guilty that we are not treating SIL with the proper respect and attention that a guest with a new baby wants/deserves.
Baby’s crying. Got to go./. Vent over.

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